Dads and Shared Parenting

⚖️Sharing care: learn it from the start

Changing diapers, bathing, burping, settling to sleep, and making formula are skills anyone can learn by doing. Doing them yourself in the first weeks is the fastest way to get good at them. Even if you are clumsy at first, you will soon find your own way.

Sharing lasts longer when it is framed not as "I'll help" but as "this is my job." Write a list of tasks together and split not only the hands-on work but also the keeping-track work (vaccine schedules, diaper supplies, daycare paperwork).

• Nights: dad handles burping, diapers, and resettling after feeds, or you split nights by day of the week.
• Mornings: set a time when dad has the baby so mom can rest uninterrupted.
• Make one daily routine, like bath time or bedtime, dad's regular job.
• Share managing and attending vaccination and checkup appointments.

📅Paternity leave and parental leave

In Korea, there is spouse maternity (paternity) leave that dads can take right after birth, and parental leave for when the child is young. There are also programs that support parents taking leave together or in turns. Days, pay, and eligibility can change every year, so check the Support Programs page and Korea's Employment24 portal for current rules.

It helps to talk with your employer a few months before the due date. Consider splitting leave to match when hands are needed most, such as the first weeks after birth and when the mother returns to work.

• Ask your HR department about the process and application deadlines.
• Part of the pay comes from employment insurance, applied for separately on Employment24.
• Put both parents' leave on a calendar to minimize gaps.

💞Bonding with your baby

Attachment does not form only with the person who feeds the baby. It builds through repeated care: holding, eye contact, talking, and soothing a crying baby. Babies quickly recognize their dad's voice, scent, and way of holding them.

Skin-to-skin holding (kangaroo care) is something dads can do too. As the baby grows, face-to-face play, reading aloud, and walks are good times together.

• Even 15 to 20 minutes a day alone with the baby, without your phone
• Narrate what you are doing during diaper changes and baths
• When the baby cries, try soothing first instead of handing them straight to mom

🫶Supporting your partner

After birth, a mother goes through physical recovery, feeding, and sleep loss all at once. The biggest help is creating time for her to sleep uninterrupted. Managing visitors and taking over housework and shopping also make a real difference.

The partner is often the first to notice mood changes. If she seems depressed for more than two weeks, cannot sleep at all, or talks about harming herself or the baby, encourage her to see a doctor and go with her.

🧠Postpartum depression in fathers

Fathers can also experience depression and anxiety after a birth, from the combination of sleep loss, financial pressure, a changed relationship, and the strain between work and childcare. It can also appear when the partner has postpartum depression.

Depression in dads often shows outwardly, as irritability, anger, burying oneself in work or alcohol, or coming home late, which makes it hard to recognize. If it lasts more than two weeks, see a psychiatrist or get counseling at a community mental health welfare center. In Korea, the mental health crisis line 1577-0199 is also available.

💬FAQ